Supporting Survivors of Loss Through Suicide
Each September, Suicide Prevention Month reminds us that mental health conversations save lives. Losing a loved one to suicide is a uniquely painful and complex experience. For those left behind, often called “survivors of suicide loss”, grief is layered with shock, confusion, guilt, and questions that may never be fully answered. Unlike other forms of bereavement, suicide loss can carry additional stigma and isolation, leaving survivors feeling as though they are grieving alone.
During Suicide Prevention Month and beyond, it is vital to recognize not only the importance of preventing suicide but also the need to support those who must navigate life after such devastating loss. Survivors need compassion, understanding, and community as they process their grief and rebuild their lives. Here are ways we can walk alongside them.
1. Understand the Unique Nature of Suicide Grief
Grief after suicide differs in many ways from grief after other types of loss. Survivors often struggle with a mix of emotions that can feel overwhelming or contradictory:
- Shock and disbelief: Some struggle to comprehend the suddenness of the loss.
- Guilt and self-blame: Survivors may replay events, wondering if they missed warning signs or could have prevented the death.
- Anger: Directed at the loved one, circumstances, or themselves.
- Stigma and shame: Because of societal misunderstandings about suicide, survivors may feel judged or silenced.
- Relief mixed with sorrow: Particularly if the loved one endured prolonged suffering, survivors may feel relief that the pain is over, only to feel guilty for that relief.
Recognizing these layers helps us understand why suicide grief can be so isolating. Survivors need reassurance that their feelings are valid and that healing is possible, even if it takes time.
2. Offer Presence, Not Just Words
When someone loses a loved one to suicide, it can be hard to know what to say. People can worry about saying the wrong thing and may withdraw, which only increases the survivor’s sense of isolation. What matters most is not having perfect words but being present.
Helpful approaches include:
- Listening without judgment. Allow survivors to tell their story as often as they need.
- Using the loved one’s name. Acknowledging their life affirms that they mattered.
- Sitting in silence. Sometimes, presence alone speaks louder than words.
- Offering practical support. Helping with meals, childcare, errands, or accompanying them to appointments can ease immediate burdens.
What to avoid: Phrases like “They’re in a better place” or “Everything happens for a reason” can feel dismissive. Instead, say, “I’m so sorry you’re going through this” or “I’m here for you.”
3. Respect the Survivor’s Grieving Process
Grief is not linear, and there is no timeline for healing. Some survivors may want to talk openly right away, while others may need space. Some may find comfort in community support groups, while others may grieve privately.
It’s important to respect each survivor’s process and avoid imposing expectations. Remind them that it’s okay to grieve in their own way and that ups and downs are normal. Grief may resurface strongly around anniversaries, birthdays, or holidays—times when extra support can make a big difference.
4. Encourage Connection with Support Networks
No one should have to navigate suicide loss alone. Encouraging survivors to connect with others who understand their experience can be profoundly healing.
Resources include:
- Suicide loss support groups: Organizations such as the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) host peer-led groups for survivors.
- Therapy and counseling: Mental health professionals can help survivors process complex grief and manage guilt or trauma.
- Online communities: Virtual groups provide 24/7 connection, especially for those in remote areas.
By connecting with others who have endured similar loss, survivors often feel less isolated and more understood.
5. Address the Stigma Surrounding Suicide
Stigma is one of the greatest challenges survivors face. They may encounter silence, judgment, or avoidance from others. Friends or family may hesitate to acknowledge the death as a suicide, leaving survivors feeling unseen.
To support survivors, we must break the silence. This can mean:
- Speaking openly about suicide. Naming it reduces shame.
- Educating others. Share accurate information about mental health and suicide.
- Challenging misconceptions. Remind others that suicide is not a “selfish choice” but often the result of unbearable pain or untreated illness.
By creating safe, compassionate spaces, we help survivors feel supported rather than stigmatized.
6. Support Children and Teens Who Are Survivors
Young survivors need special care. Children and teens may struggle to understand suicide and might blame themselves. They may feel abandoned or fear that others in their life will also die.
Ways to support young survivors:
- Offer age-appropriate explanations that are honest yet gentle.
- Encourage them to express feelings through play, art, or journaling.
- Provide stability and reassurance about their safety.
- Connect them with specialized counselors who work with grieving youth.
Supporting young survivors ensures they can process grief in healthy ways and reduces long-term emotional impact.
7. Recognize the Long-Term Journey
Grief after suicide does not end after a funeral or even over a few months. Survivors often describe it as a lifelong journey. Over time, the intensity may lessen, but reminders and anniversaries can bring back waves of pain.
Long-term support might mean checking in on special dates, honoring the loved one’s memory, or simply continuing to be present. Survivors often say that continued acknowledgment of their loved one years later is deeply meaningful.
8. Promote Hope and Healing
Although the journey is painful, healing is possible. Survivors can eventually find ways to create meaning from their loss, whether through advocacy, supporting others, or honoring their loved one’s legacy.
Encouraging survivors to practice self-care, pursue professional help, and engage in activities that bring comfort can foster resilience. Remind them that it’s okay to seek joy and move forward while still carrying love and remembrance.
Supporting survivors of suicide loss requires patience, compassion, and the willingness to walk beside them in their grief. By listening, showing up, addressing stigma, and connecting them with resources, we can help survivors feel less alone. Suicide may end a life, but it does not end the love survivors carry. When we support them with care and understanding, we honor both their grief and their courage to keep living.
If you or someone you know has lost a loved one to suicide, support is available.
- AFSP Survivor Resources: afsp.org/loss
- Alliance of Hope: allianceofhope.org
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 in the U.S. for 24/7 support.
You are not alone. Healing is possible, and hope can grow even in the aftermath of loss.
Do you have more questions about grief resources? Be sure to visit our website or call us for more information at 609-344-9004.








