"Bereavement is a universal and integral part of our experience of love." — C.S. Lewis
Navigating seasonal celebrations can be stressful but especially hard when they remind us of the loss of a loved one. For many of us, rituals are a big part of the holidays where we connect with family and friends. The absence of a special person in our lives can turn these comforting traditions into painful ones to endure.
Here are 8 ways to cope with grief during the holidays:
1. Choose which traditions to keep and which to change.
Some traditions may be too difficult to continue and that’s okay. They once held meaning and purpose for a time passed and offer wonderful memories you’ll have forever. Now is the time to consider eliminating them altogether or changing them into something with new meaning to embrace.
2. Set boundaries for yourself.
Understand that the holidays will be different and difficult, and we often don’t know how grief can affect us. Decide which gatherings to attend and which to skip. Be aware of your feelings and don’t be pressured to participate.
3. Practice gratitude
Each day during the holiday season, journal about one thing, or one person, you are grateful for in your life and why. This may be challenging in the light of a recent loss, but it can help you be aware of how much you are still blessed even through grief.
4. Take care of yourself first
The holidays can be hectic, and this can intensify grief and sadness. Be sure to set aside quiet time for yourself. This can include meditation, reading, listening to music, or going for a walk.
5. Be flexible and have a Plan B
If you do choose to attend some events, give yourself the option of having a back-up plan. This could be honoring your loved one by visiting a shared special place or watching a favorite movie. If Plan A doesn’t feel comfortable, it’s enough to know you can do something else. Friends and family will likely be supportive and understand.
6. Look to fill holiday roles
The absence of a loved one can leave a hole in holiday plans. Consider who could fill that role and continue the tradition. Whether it’s playing the piano, cutting the turkey, or organizing family games. Taking control of this ahead of time can help make these bittersweet moments more joyous.
7. Volunteer
Bringing joy to others can help alleviate our own sadness. Focusing on a volunteer role can also take our mind off grieving, if only for a little while, and through that enable us to see the bigger world around us.
8. Ask for help if you need it
Grief is hard enough but the holidays can make it even more complicated. It’s important to seek support from family, friends, or a professional counselor if needed. Don’t think you have to struggle alone. Getting help can provide the tools we need to manage this grieving period and let us know we are not alone.
If you are mourning loved ones this season, it’s normal to feel that you will never enjoy the holidays again. However, over time it is possible to find renewed meaning and joy in traditions. Focusing on making new memories, comforting rituals, and connecting with family and friends can draw us into enjoying holiday time once more.