There’s no doubt that grief can be overwhelming and one of the hardest emotions to navigate. Losing a loved one is hard enough but when we lose someone suddenly, we also mourn the way they died. In dealing with this additional trauma, you may be left with many unanswered questions and conflicting emotions.
Here are six ways to cope with an unexpected death:
1. Connect with others who’ve had a similar experience
Support groups can be a lifeline especially for those who are dealing with losing someone to sudden death. Even if you aren’t ready to share your experience, listening to others can help you understand that you are not alone in your grief.
2. Talk to family and friends
When a sudden death occurs, it can be easy to isolate ourselves in dealing with the pain. However, spending time with family and friends can offer a normalcy to our lives that can help us heal slowly, one day at a time.
3. Take action
For some people, feeling in control and having a purpose can help them deal with the shock of unexpected death. This could be through getting involved with planning funeral services, organizing a charitable fund in your loved one’s honor, or helping investigators with the details of the death.
4. Focus on everyday routines
Once the funeral is over, we are faced with real life once more. It can be hard but getting back to everyday tasks bit by bit can give you something to focus on other than your grief. Life goes on and we must return to it in order to eventually heal and find happiness once more. Create a list of to-do items each day. If it’s initially too overwhelming, reach out to others for help.
5. Accept how you feel
When someone we love dies unexpectedly, we can experience many emotions all at once from shock to sadness to denial. Being prepared for delayed reactions, can also help us understand that we should expect a wide range of feelings. Accepting how we feel, will allow us to manage our unique grieving process in our own time.
6. Take care of yourself
It can be difficult in the beginning but managing our basic needs will help keep our body and mind as strong as possible for dealing with the stress of grief. Even if it feels like you are going through the motions like a robot, try to get enough sleep, shower, and eat well. Taking time to go for a walk or meditate can also ease the pain of loss.
Allowing time to process the grief of sudden death in your own way and caring for yourself, doesn’t mean you are forgetting your loved one. It means you are honoring them while choosing to move forward with your own life.
Southern New Jersey offers grief support resources by visiting 2-1-1 NJ, and here at Roth Goldsteins’ we will assist you in finding other resources such as books, videos, or religious groups that would be right for you.